Stress and challenging

I lost my future way recently just dun know what to do for my next step. I not sure about my potential as what i am interested in just feeling that being a doctor is quite meaningful for my life . Is that the reason for my own interest ? I am thinking what come to my life next ! Some of my friends already decides their ways for future i just know i cannot make wrong for the decision because i have to save my time and money for my further studies . I cannot share this problem with my mum since she will tell just choose whatever i like to be while i tell my boy friend he will say whatever decision u make i will support you . I know i can handle the pressure well which i feel that some signal is coming to my daily routine that is my mood . I cannot really enjoy with my friends because thinking the syllabus left to be studied on night , preparing our syllabus for the next class , mid term text or even our final . All these things i can make it perfect if i work hard for it just the thing i am confusing is my future .. .. God just give the way i should for it ..

Things that always confusing =.=

Every people will confuse when they are taking some decision however my boyfriend will confuse when the time to think wat are we going to eat . ^^ I dun know he always give me to make decision or making me feeling tat he giving me pressure on it . Sometimes i really dun know how to explain my feeling. Feeling express in front of him is quite difficult just feeling hesitate to think to leave him . I not really a good girl since i am quite anger in everything he did that are not really good feeling to me .
Sometimes i know he worries me but i dun want to make him worries because i want to protect him rather than he protects me . When i am dull i just hope he can stay beside me comfort me =.=
I dun know how long we can stay together but when the time of living something appear in my heart saying that he is one who can be so calm at me during me anger or even my rude attitude . He is not that best guy i met but he is the one who love me . He scared that i leaving him silently just because he loves me . He want to protects me so he not really prefer i wearing so 'sexy' but i am not really that obrdient so i refused to hear his words , i have that slim structure so i want to wear anything i want to wear .. I am overbearing just because i fight for my own freedom . Being a future doctor is quite hard and stressful i just hope he can accompany silently through out my studies . I hope there will be fine for all thing we going to meet next steps of our life ..Sometimes i love to be with him just because i need it . I need him so i love him sound like i am a realistic person ^^ I know now he loves me more than i loves him just because i really need a person who love me very much until he can take care of me for the whole life ..